The original misspellings add to this, but I couldn’t stand them. DIY: replace “you’re” with “your,” subtract necessary punctuation, add superfluous capitalization, etc.
You know you’re in Staten Island when:
The landfill is known as “the dump.”
There’s a bakery in every town.
You remember when Drink was Cylo.
You’re originally from Brooklyn.
At least someone on your block is in the Mafia.
You know never to walk on South Beach’s sand without shoes.
When you leave NY everyone thinks you have an accent, when really they do, and they repeat everything you say and you look at them like they’re stupid.
It’s pronounced Stahnilan.
There is at least one pizzeria within a block of your house.
You don’t go to Manhattan, you go to “The City”.
Everybody knows somebody, even if it is your mother’s cousin’s son-in-law’s sister’s boyfriend.
Stickball and handball were the games of choice in school.
One place: Ralph’s Ices.
Every Christmas you go to the house lighting in Great Kills.
Either your or your best friend’s last name ends in a vowel.
And finally, the school dress code: Boys – North Face jacket, black velour with a white wife-beater or tee, gold chain, white sneakers, and a tape up with more gel than one bottle can hold. Girls – North Face jacket, pink or baby blue velour and/or club t-shirts, uptowns, earrings with your name in the middle and a necklace to match, a pound of makeup, and orange skin from tanning every day.
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