Music commentary is best done by the Boy, with his encyclopedic knowledge. I, at best, have a TV-Guide-sized knowledge. (The old TV Guide, too, not the big new shiny one with all the pictures.)
But, this morning I was listening to a CD and it literally made me laugh out loud. And it was not a comedy CD.
Surprisingly, it was the Ministry of Sound 2006 Annual. The Annuals are fantastic compilations, fun, energetic, interesting. I don’t like all dance music, but I always like these.
Anyway, it starts out great, with a surprisingly good remix of Kelly Clarkson’s “Since You’ve Been Gone.” (Jason Nevins is good, I know, but it’s an oddly pop start to an Annual I think). Then there are three really great songs, “Love on My Mind” by Freemasons, “Say Say Say (Waiting 4 U)” by Hi-Tack, and “I Like the Way” by Bodyrockers.
But then the rest of the first CD goes flying straight downhill. And the next-to-last track, “Every Time We Touch” by Cascada, is the one that made me laugh out loud.
I don’t expect a lot, lyrically, from a dance song. It ain’t Shakespeare. However.
“I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me
I still feel your touch in my dream
Forgive me my weakness but I donâ€™t know why
Without you itâ€™s hard to survive”
“‘Cause every time we touch I get this feeling,
And every time we kiss I swear I could fly,
Can’t you feel my heart beat fast,
I want this to last,
Need you by my side.”
Cliched, but fine.
“‘Cause every time we touch I feel this static,
And every time we kiss I reach for the sky,
Can’t you hear my heart beat slow,
I can’t let you go,
Want you in my life.”
You feel… static? That’s a little odd. Is that a good thing?
And it reminds me a little of Romper Room, all “bend and stretch, reach for the stars.”
And aren’t you contradicting yourself with your heartbeat thing? First fast, now slow. Is this a medical condition?
But whatever, I’m being picky. This is what made me laugh:
“Your arms are my castle
Your heart is my sky
They wipe away tears that I cry”
Come on now. What is that possibly supposed to mean?
And it doesn’t at all help that it’s what the Boy refers to as “guido fist-pumping” music. It’s just atrocious.
And now I don’t trust the second CD of the compilation at all. Ministry of Sound, why must I doubt you? Why do you put out identical-looking albums with completely different track lists? Why do you start them fine and then fill them up with crap songs? What are you doing?