Want something different? Here’s how to get it.
First? Stop complaining. Stop whining. Stop vaguebooking. Stop wishing.
Do something. It’s your damn life. If you don’t make it better, who do you think is going to? There is no education fairy. There is no project elf. There is no housework genie. There is no workout sorcerer. You can spend the next forever whining about your lousy home/job/marriage/body. Or you could spend that time working on it. I have a Nike ad on my fridge. I’ve had it for years. It says, “If you started running when you first began thinking about it, you’d be done by now.” I hate how true it always is.
If you don’t know what you do want? Do anything. You can’t get a new life overnight, or a new job, or a new relationship, or a new family. But if you know you’re not happy, do one thing that would make you feel better. Take a pottery class. Get a pet rat to play with. Whatever. It might not change your life. But it makes you feel better for the time you’re doing it, and that makes it worth doing. Spending your life miserable is the surest way to waste the biggest gift you’ll ever get. Your life is worth more than that.
If you do know what you want? Be honest. Look at your life and see if what you spend your minutes and hours and days on matches up to what you say you want. Here’s a hint. Since you don’t have what you want yet? I bet it doesn’t. Sack up and rearrange your life. Put your time where your mouth is.
If that will take a while? Do one thing every day. Doesn’t have to be big. Just one, one little step toward the goal, every single day. No lying. Every day.
And while you’re doing that? Stop judging. Stop noticing what everybody else is doing and who’se doing it wrong, who looks like they’re slacking off, who’s doing it the wrong way. Are you in charge of them? Then it ain’t any of your never mind. You don’t know their life. (And if you did I guarantee you wouldn’t want it.) They’re handing their stuff. Handle yours.
And while you’re doing that? Stop being sorry. Don’t apologize for it. Don’t minimize the importance of what you’re doing. Don’t joke it away. If it matters to you, stop making it sound otherwise. Have the guts to admit to what you care about. You make model train towns. You study astrophysics. You braid sparkly barrettes. Why? Because it matters to you, dammit. And that matters.Editor’s Note: Please do not make the mistake of thinking that because I say this works – and it does – that I’m saying I do it right. Nope. Not even mostly. Understand this as a talking-to for myself more than to anyone else.