exercise

I’ve tried an awful lot of exercise, but I fell in love with tae kwon do. I am clumsy, shy, not terribly confrontational, and I hate like poison to have people watch me doing anything – yet it hooked me completely. And I love yoga, although patience and doing one thing at a time don’t come naturally to me. And now I love running, despite being patently rotten at it.

On the other hand, if you told me all I could do was step aerobics, I’d never exercise again. And I’d rather get flu than go bowling. And why some adults of their own volition rejoin that hell known as dodgeball baffles me utterly.

So, this trifecta works perfectly, if improbably, for me – and finding the right ones was tremendously important. I’m learning that this is true of many things.

Managing my money, for instance. I’ve tried paper ledgers, cash in envelopes, a variety of online services, borrowing other people’s budgeting methods, reading books after books. Turns out I just had to fiddle around until I found my own method. Now, I’ve got a dual-worksheet spreadsheet in the cloud, and while it might not work for anybody else, I finally have a budget that is not only a delight to use, but is making a huge difference.

You can learn a lot from the way other people do something, but when you really want it to work for you, you have to play around until you find what clicks for you. Remember Goldilocks, and respect your individuality. Don’t worry if it’s not how You’re Supposed To Do It. Just do what works.

What do you do that is just right for you, but might not work for anyone else?

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Tiger Woods is a rotten role model. And not because he’s an adulterous bastard. (He is. But if you’ve been getting relationship guidance from celebrities’ lives, I can’t help you. ) I mean because he had created a professional persona around his lifelong dedication – but now he seems to be saying he has a sex addiction.

There is not much that will annoy me faster than people who medicalize their ethical failings, or otherwise push their own performance off on something ostensibly outside their control.

And worse, it’s not just a few individuals who do this – it’s become a societal phenomenon.

Kids who do poorly in school get to take their tests with twice the time in a private room. For all I know, they probably get spa music piped in and grapes fed to them. Then, after school, they go play a sport where they all get a trophy even if they lose every game.

My goodness, of course they grow up to think poor performance isn’t their fault and to expect always to be able to find blame. How would they know any different?

Now yes, of course, there are real medical conditions. But this isn’t what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is that sometimes you lose and sometimes you fail. And these are not doomsday scenarios to protect against at all costs. It’s learning. It’s life.

Competition and discipline are not the bad things that our society is making them into. Excusing your performance is not a default response.

Moreover, it’s a terrible shame that kids aren’t getting the full pride of a job well done. If they’re always praised no matter what, it loses its meaning. Kids are not stupid. They know when they’re being given a line, and they know when something’s genuine.

So yes, it really bothers me that this rush to hide and excuse failure is not only the way of the world, but that it’s now being fed by Tiger Woods, who should know more than most people what dedication and hard work actually are.

Based on a conversation with Alanna, whose Twitter I would look up, except that, obviously, I can’t.

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For all of the plans I have to cancel between now and January 31, I apologize, and hereby explain.

I have just done the scariest thing I have ever done.

Well. The scariest thing in at least the last 24 hours.

I do a lot of things that scare me.

I think mostly that’s just because I scare easily.

But that’s completely not the point.

The point is, OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST SIGNED MYSELF UP FOR THIS.

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