mistaken identity

In which Atlanta Other Me’s email begins to get on my nerves. But more about that later. First, a bit of overseas Other Me action. Incidentally, how great is the new embedded translator in Gmail?

Madame, Monsieur,

Vous avez été en contact avec notre société et envisagiez une garde pour la rentrée de septembre. Je me permets de revenir vers vous à ce sujet et vous invite à me contacter afin que nous puissions examiner ensemble les solutions que j’ai à vous proposer.

Sincères salutations,

Marianne

Marianne and have I exchanged emails before, but the plot’s thickened. It turns out that the person she was trying to reach was actually one of her competitors fishing for information. Who knew that baby language development was such an espionage-rife industry?

* * *

More colored font and italics and exclamation points from Hannah to one of the teenage Other Me’s. I’ll spare you.

* * *

More on the Atlanta Wedding. Because you were waiting with bated breath.

Hello Sarah,

Congratulations on your engagement and upcoming wedding! I know you must be very excited!

I would love to help you with rooms for your out of town guests while they are here helping you celebrate your Big Day! At Courtyard Executive Park, we specialize in accommodations for your out of town guests.

Rates starting at $74 per night
Complimentary suite with 10+ rooms in your block
Complimentary shuttle within 3.5 mile radius with 15+ rooms booked
Never a financial obligation for rooms not picked up.
Please reach me at [REDACTED]. Let me know if you have any questions or would like to set up a site tour. I look forward to speaking with you.

Sincerely,

Cindy

* * *

More stores sending news of new collections to Atlanta Other Me: J. Crew this time. (And also, fashion alerts from Mexx Canada. Is there a Canadian Other Me now?)

* * *

And to finish the Atlanta trifecta, a dialoge with Gerald. Please note that in each communication, he can see my name, my email address, and my New Jersey telephone number. I will only say that I hope he manages assets better than he understands email.

Gerald: Correction: It was a transfer

Sarah: I believe you have sent this to the wrong person. Please confirm.

Gerald: No that was for you.

Sarah: I’m sorry, I don’t know you. Could you please clarify who you’re trying to reach?

Gerald: Sarah Morgan?

Sarah: Yes, my name is Sarah Morgan. However, I do not know you, I do not work with you, and since you seem to be based in Atlanta and I live in New Jersey, I really do suspect that you are looking for another Sarah Morgan. I get a lot of email meant for a Sarah Morgan who lives in Atlanta. If she’s the one I’m thinking of, she’s planning a wedding, and has a fondness for shoes.

Gerald: Crazy. How can you both have same email address. Sorry.

Sarah: We do not have the same email address. This is my email address, not hers.

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All this mail meant for other people with my name is diverting, but truly, there’s a lot of it, and I do think there are two issues with Google mail accounts – but I can’t figure out how to talk to an actual human being about it. Does anyone know how I might be able to do that?

In this installment…

We get mail from Bare Escentuals, GNC, iTunes, Pizza Express and Plaxo.

We get a couple of bills from a very posh restaurant in South Kensington where London Other Me has run up tabs in excess of two thousand pounds – sometimes more than half on wine!

We learn that Atlanta Other Me is such a shoe fiend that the Stuart Weitzman saleslady emails her about new stock. Since Atlanta Other Me is in the midst of planning rather a fancy wedding, I wonder if she’d be better off without those wedges for now.

A Southern Other Me – possibly the above – has just gotten a new job with a fun new athletic company, whose details I’m leaving out. As one of her first assignments, she’s going with her boss P.J. and one of her new coworkers to a cheerleading and volleyball camp. I expect there’s a lot of giggling and ponytails at a camp like that.

We also get the rest of these. Which, frankly, are pretty good this time. I’ve edited most of them, because they’re unusually personal. Some rather a lot more than others.

* * *

I’m kicking off with, unusually, a link, because this e-card needs to be experienced: I couldn’t do justice to the card or the message. (SFW, with music.)

* * *

Next is a delightful email from Betsy at the WWF with the intriguing title “Template Media Release Draft for GFTN/TRAFFIC Training Events in Vietnam”. I’d post it, but honestly, I can’t really understand it well enough to know what might need to be redacted.

* * *
RE: folding camper

Please find attached directions to our house, the Malt House. The post code is [REDACTED] and you can call me on my mobile on [REDACTED] if you get stuck.

I assume from Malvern you will be coming from Worcseter? If so you head out towards Tenbury until you pass Abberley School. Turn R here and follow the road to Clows Top, straight over by Clows Top Post Office and to end of road at Mawley Garage where you take a L to Cleobury Mortimer.

Hope this helps and look forward to meeting you and any of the family at 2pm on Sunday.

Kind regards

Linda

* * *

In an episode I’m editing for the privacy of the child, an Other Me has signed up for Mommy and Me dance classes with Miss Stephanie every Thursday. I was surprised that a class for three-year-olds would run for two hours – although it DOES include ribbon sticks and dance scarves, and we all know that I love a good dance scarf. But really, is the term “cardio” appropriate for a toddler class? Isn’t that putting too much focus on their little tutued bellies too early in life? Chill out, Other Me. Try fingerpainting with Lila.

* * *

And in an exchange that I can’t possibly begin to post, an Other Me is helping her sister and the sister’s partner. Other Me is a lawyer, the sister is a nanny and, from what they’ve documented, her employer is at best rude and clueless, or at worst maliciously homophobic. It’s bad news bears all around and I’m very sorry for her.

* * *

Peeks into other people’s lives can make you extra appreciative of the little mundanities of your own, can’t they? Ideally this finds you in the midst of a delightfully un-dramatic day of your own.

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Obie has provided the estimate for California Other Me’s bathroom remodel. It seems very reasonable. She should go for it.

* * *

UK Other Me is staying at Burn Hall for a couple of days. It looks lovely.

* * *
From: Carolynn
Re: Photos

Hi Sarah, Steve, Isabelle & Luke

Hope you are all well.

I do apologise for not sending photo’s, I have not forgotten, the problem was because I have been ill in bed for just over a week. Mel is hopeless at using the computer so I could not get a message to you.

Anyway I have them ready to send to you so I will do so in the next few days.

Hope the weather has been better where you are then here – rain – rain and more rain, I think I was maybe better off in bed!!!

Take care and will be in touch very soon

Mel & Carolynn

* * *

In which I learn UK Other Me’s email address – and, frankly, it’s dumb. No wonder everybody gets confused.

From: Tess
To: Rachel, Lisa Jayne, Emma, Joanne
Re: FW: Going Out

Ladies,

hello hope you are all well.

Sarah glad you are coming for both nights it should be a good laugh.

the wedding is booked for 30th April 2011 at Hatherton Country house Hotel in Penkridge ( Sarah i know what day it is but sorry only have one weekend off a month).

Secondly dates for a get together

Wed 16/6, Thurs 17/6, Mon 5/7, Tues 6/7, Wed 7/7, Tues 13/7, Wed 14/7, Thurs 15/7, Sat 17/7 all of the above are evenings free

I would obviously like you all to meet Adam so partners preferably – but if not a girly night out

hope to see you all soon

Tess

* * *

In which we discover that UK Other Me has multilingual hopes for her little one.

From: Marianne
Re: Baby Speaking

Madame,

Je fais suite à notre conversation téléphonique et vous envoie comme convenu notre brochure détaillant nos services, notre fonctionnement ainsi que nos tarifs (notamment avec le détail des aides de la CAF) / plus d’informations sur http://www.caf.fr/wps/portal/particuliers/catalogue/metropole/paje

Je vous envoie dans l’email qui suit un devis sur la base des heures dont nous avions parlée.

Dans un premier temps je vous remercie de bien vouloir nous renvoyer le devis choisi signé, accompagné de nos conditions générales de service ainsi que le chèque – à envoyer à : BABY-SPEAKING, 49 rue bichat, 75010 – de règlement des frais d’adhésion annuels de 100 € avant défiscalisation. Suite à la rencontre et validation de votre baby-speaker, vous pourrez nous régler la formule choisie (possibilité d’échelonner le paiement) par prélèvement (informations bancaires à remplir dans document joint au devis).

Je me tiens à votre entière disposition pour toutes informations complémentaires,

Cordialement,

Marianne

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