Mistaken Identity: Episodes 345-63

All this mail meant for other people with my name is diverting, but truly, there’s a lot of it, and I do think there are two issues with Google mail accounts – but I can’t figure out how to talk to an actual human being about it. Does anyone know how I might be able to do that?

In this installment…

We get mail from Bare Escentuals, GNC, iTunes, Pizza Express and Plaxo.

We get a couple of bills from a very posh restaurant in South Kensington where London Other Me has run up tabs in excess of two thousand pounds – sometimes more than half on wine!

We learn that Atlanta Other Me is such a shoe fiend that the Stuart Weitzman saleslady emails her about new stock. Since Atlanta Other Me is in the midst of planning rather a fancy wedding, I wonder if she’d be better off without those wedges for now.

A Southern Other Me – possibly the above – has just gotten a new job with a fun new athletic company, whose details I’m leaving out. As one of her first assignments, she’s going with her boss P.J. and one of her new coworkers to a cheerleading and volleyball camp. I expect there’s a lot of giggling and ponytails at a camp like that.

We also get the rest of these. Which, frankly, are pretty good this time. I’ve edited most of them, because they’re unusually personal. Some rather a lot more than others.

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I’m kicking off with, unusually, a link, because this e-card needs to be experienced: I couldn’t do justice to the card or the message. (SFW, with music.)

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Next is a delightful email from Betsy at the WWF with the intriguing title “Template Media Release Draft for GFTN/TRAFFIC Training Events in Vietnam”. I’d post it, but honestly, I can’t really understand it well enough to know what might need to be redacted.

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RE: folding camper

Please find attached directions to our house, the Malt House. The post code is [REDACTED] and you can call me on my mobile on [REDACTED] if you get stuck.

I assume from Malvern you will be coming from Worcseter? If so you head out towards Tenbury until you pass Abberley School. Turn R here and follow the road to Clows Top, straight over by Clows Top Post Office and to end of road at Mawley Garage where you take a L to Cleobury Mortimer.

Hope this helps and look forward to meeting you and any of the family at 2pm on Sunday.

Kind regards

Linda

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In an episode I’m editing for the privacy of the child, an Other Me has signed up for Mommy and Me dance classes with Miss Stephanie every Thursday. I was surprised that a class for three-year-olds would run for two hours – although it DOES include ribbon sticks and dance scarves, and we all know that I love a good dance scarf. But really, is the term “cardio” appropriate for a toddler class? Isn’t that putting too much focus on their little tutued bellies too early in life? Chill out, Other Me. Try fingerpainting with Lila.

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And in an exchange that I can’t possibly begin to post, an Other Me is helping her sister and the sister’s partner. Other Me is a lawyer, the sister is a nanny and, from what they’ve documented, her employer is at best rude and clueless, or at worst maliciously homophobic. It’s bad news bears all around and I’m very sorry for her.

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Peeks into other people’s lives can make you extra appreciative of the little mundanities of your own, can’t they? Ideally this finds you in the midst of a delightfully un-dramatic day of your own.