Sarah Morgan
It may not be total coincidence that “douche” not only means “shower” but also “idiot.”
I usually wander into the shower immediately after waking up, so I’m slowly gaining consciousness as I’m showering.
And just about every morning, my brain will involuntarily rifle through the past day and pop any particularly embarrassing memories right into my head.
So I’ll be waking up, getting all sudsy, planning my outfit, maybe having the rare cry if that needs to happen (the shower is the place for a good cry, I find – but I digress) but just in general having a lovely hot good-morning shower. And all of a sudden, out of absolutely nowhere, I’m slammed with the realization of how painfully stupid I sounded midday yesterday.
I don’t know why this happens. On the one hand, I guess it’s my thoughts getting cleaned out and ready for the day. But I don’t really like it. I’d prefer to be at least dressed before having to confront, in cringeworthy detail sometimes bad enough to make me groan aloud, exactly how great my capacity is to humiliate myself.
It’s just undignified. Not to mention demoralizing.
Knock it off, brain.
