Surprise Introvert

I am good at being “on,” and I don’t say that lightly – while yes, certainly it’s helped make me successful, I also actually really enjoy it. I love talking to people and finding out their stories. But it doesn’t fill up my energy as it does for some people. For me, it takes it down. It’s not painful, but it is, most definitely, effort-full.

What I’ve learned is that, if you’re like that too, this will make perfect sense to you, and if you’re not, you simply won’t get it.

And I’ve learned that feeling shy doesn’t always look like it. Sometimes people think I’m being standoffish, when I’m actually self-conscious or afraid of being pushy.

Until fairly recently, I didn’t realize any of this could be normal. I thought I was lazy and boring and a little weird. Well. I probably am, at least a little. But at least now I know I’m a “bubbly introvert” too.

I didn’t realize I wasn’t the only one who could get a little too used to time alone.

I didn’t realize I wasn’t the only one who’s ever wanted to escape a party for a little while. Not to get away from anything bad, just because I needed a break.

I never thought about introversion in terms of sensory overload, but it certainly fits for me. Sometimes all I need is quiet.

I used to close posts with a question – here it would be something like “Are you a surprise introvert too?” – to try to spark comments. But y’all – and I know you’re there, Google Analytics doesn’t lie – don’t comment. So I’ve stopped, because getting no answers feels uncomfortable. I guess that’s actually doubly introverted: I don’t like asking and you don’t like commenting.

The battle of the introverts. Fought here every day. Very quietly.