The List.

As you’ve been waiting with bated breath, here’s my 2004 List. In order. With accompanying rationale. (See Pamie.com for details and explanation for how this silly idea got into my head – I’ve modified her schedule into a list.)

Disclaimer: my reality is a wonderful happiness that I am extremely fortunate to have and would never, ever trade for any fantasy.

But, with that said….

1. Jamie Oliver, the Naked Chef. He’s always my favorite. For the shot of him jumping in the air used in the magazine ads for his line of T-Fal frying pans. And for the fact that he called me “darling” when I met him, regardless of how many thousands can make that claim..

2. Taye Diggs. He’s that gorgeous, he did a passable Jamaican accent in How Stella Got Her Groove Back, he was in the original cast of RENT and he just had a stint in Wicked. He may be the perfect man.

3. Ty Pennington from Trading Spaces. You can be that arrogant, if your forearms are that good.

4. Andrew Dan-Jumbo from While You Were Out. I guess maybe I have a carpenter thing. And yes, I watch far too many home-improvement shows. But he’s Nigerian… and British… and one of People‘s Most Beautiful. How can I not?

5. In an upset, Rob Mariano from Survivor: Marquesas has displaced Ethan Zohn from Survivor: Africa. Even if you are a millionaire, and a professional soccer player, and have really really good abs, just because you’re stuck in a tribe with your nasty ex-girlfriend is no excuse for the incredibly sexist crap he was spouting in the first episode of Survivor: All-Stars. And Rob’s still as good-looking but has gotten less abrasive and more amusing. Or maybe he’s just learned how to soundbite better. Whatever. It works for me.

6. Ewan MacGregor. For Moulin Rouge.

7. Colin Firth. For Love Actually.

8. Shane West, who played Tom Sawyer in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I think it was in theatres for about 45 seconds, but I really liked it. And him.

9. Will Smith. He pulled off multicolored sweaters in the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, he pulls off rap star, he pulls off action hero. He’s a millionaire because he can carry the improbable.

10. Patrick Stewart. Bald is beautiful. I was a bit taken aback by seeing him in his underpants in The Ride Down Mt. Morgan, but he still does make the list nonetheless.

11. Orlando Bloom. Not for Lord of the Rings, but for the way he looked in a skullcap in the behind-the-scenes documentaries of the filming – and most of all for Pirates of the Caribbean.

12. Matt Damon. Despite his poor taste in best friends. For the aforementioned scene in The Bourne Identity.

13. Sean Connery. He beats his wife, which puts him way down on the list… but he is still Sean Connery, and that must be worth something in any just world.

And my semi-underage cradle-robbing honorary mentions:

14. Oliver James from What a Girl Wants. Yes, I saw this movie. And I liked it, darn it.

15. Sean Biggerstaff, Oliver Wood from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. I don’t know whether to giggle first about Biggerstaff or Wood. But the accent, o, the Scottish accent, it rises above the most unfortunate surnames.