Who Am I to Blog?

I’m not sure what I want my blog to be.

This isn’t news; I’ve had it for a decade and I’ve never known. Is it a platform for social-media geekery? It was for a while. Is it about health and fitness? Occasionally. How about personal musings?

That’s the hard one. One of the things I love best about blogs is when you really get wrapped up in the author.  It’s not just well-chosen words; it’s the honesty and the passion and the truth behind those words.

That’s always terrified me.

For one thing, it’s a wiggly tightrope to walk. I don’t want to talk about work. (I like remaining employed.) I don’t want to talk about relationships. (Whether positive or negative, in my experience you eventually wish you’d kept your trap shut.)

For another, I’m always startled when anyone from “life” – the gym, work, my neighborhood, family, whatever – tells me they read this.  It’s scary to have a reaction to my posts be in front of me.

Because who am I to be a blogger? I’m not an achiever of this or a fighter against that or any of the things that makes a “good” blogger, a “real” blogger.

I can do ponderings. Chitchat. That’s way easier than to say hey, I’m going through this, and it’s tough. I’m confused. I’m boring. Scared. Overwhelmed. Lonely. Broken. And I’m telling you.

Who’d want to read that? Maybe nobody. But I can’t help wondering….

Isn’t that the point? Of all of this? Isn’t the point of all of us being here so we can each own up to who we really are? Isn’t the point of life to figure out how to be honest with yourself and with the world?

Maybe if we do that we can see how similar we are. Maybe if we do that we can see our way through our own journeys a little easier. Maybe if we do that we can lend each other a hand.

Or maybe it’d be deadly boring. I have no idea.

But I think I need to try. I think I need to be a little more honest.

You know, it’s so easy to think people have it easy. She’s got the perfect family, he’s got the perfect body. She’s always so poised, he’s always so funny. But I’m not the sum of my best moments and nobody else is either. It’s about time we started owning up to that.